Memories of the Past: Mom’s October Song

My Mom’s October Song began one day in September when we heard the words nobody ever wants to hear. When the cancer doctor put a comforting hand on her knee and said, you have three months left. Six if you’re fortunate. My mother didn’t have a month, but we didn’t know that then. I remember trying not to fall apart when my world was silently imploding. I had to be strong for her because I could see the shock and fear in her eyes, in the eyes of the woman who had been my strength every time my world had fallen apart. Now, it was my turn.

We made it back to the car, and my daughter and Aunt Ruth knew something was wrong by the expressions on our faces. I called a few people to let them know what we found out. We waited until we got home to tell Dad. My strong and stoic Dad falling in tears was more than I could handle. My Mom’s tears alone were enough to break even my stony heart. I was torn apart by grief, but I was determined to stay strong for all my family. 

One beautiful day, my Mom asked to go to Sandstone Falls on a picnic. The good Lord must have known because the day before, I had bought a bunch of premade sandwiches and salads. We piled into the car, and off we went. My Mom smiled so big, and we all had the best time. Little did we know it was to be the last family outing we would have. Mom began rapidly going downhill and spent more time in the hospital and asleep than able to enjoy anything.

One good day, Mom had asked to watch one last movie with me: “The Christmas Shoes.” To this day, I can’t watch that movie without breaking down. I believe with my whole heart that she was trying to prepare me for her passing with that movie, as its theme was similar. In my mind’s eye, I can still see silent tears falling from my Mom’s eyes as we watched the movie. 

On Oct. 9, my Mom suffered a major stroke that left her on a ventilator. After testing determined she was brain dead, the decision was made to let her go. I remember, on the trip to the hospital, thinking about how beautiful the foliage was. The Twin Lakes looked like a scene from a Canadian postcard. It seemed at odds with the fact I was losing one of the most important people in my life.

Mom passed away on October 11. At the hospital, they brought out a hospitality cart. It always struck me as strange that you only get the royal treatment when a loved one passes away. The trip home felt surreal. In a way, life has ever since. Mom was laid to rest on Oct. 14, 2014. Her October Song was complete.